Don’t let fear rob you

This morning, I was sitting in church waiting for the 8 a.m. service to begin when I noticed two women walk past me down the aisle and sit in front of the LCD monitor. I thought to myself, “I sure hope they don’t expect to see CART because I only provide that for the 9:30 a.m. service. I’m not ready; I’ve only warmed up by wrapping my hands around a hot cup of coffee.”

I practice writing the 8 a.m. sermon, stopping to brief a recurring word or phrase or to jot down an unfamiliar word that I will Google in between services. If there is an emotional testimony, I may just sit back and take it in before I start writing again.

I walked down to the two women, smiled, and introduced myself. I asked if they were expecting to use the text on the screen as an accommodation to hear the service. Terry and Debby, who I found out were mother and daughter, returned my smile and said yes. I found myself apologizing that I didn’t normally provide CART for the 8 a.m. service and explaining that it would be better for them to attend the next. But then I stopped. What on earth was I thinking? What is the purpose of my captioning ministry anyway? It’s to make the word of God accessible. Why would I deny anyone that? I love this ministry. When did fear start robbing me of what I love to do?

I thought back to the spring of 1987. I had recently moved back to Wisconsin after graduating from a court reporting school in California. A job offer was posted for a secretary/stenographer with realtime skills to work for the Honorable Judge Richard S. Brown in the Court of Appeals. I jumped at the opportunity. I had a good feeling I had passed the Wisconsin State CPR (Certified Professional Reporter) exam required to work in state courts and was awaiting results, but I was nervous, maybe even terrified; however, I wasn’t going to let fear stop me from an incredible job opportunity.

I had no previous experience. I had no computer system, no dictionary, as I was still typing from my paper notes using my manual steno machine. What I lacked in experience and skill, I made up for in sheer determination and willingness to learn. It never occurred to me that I couldn’t do it. I just needed the opportunity. I don’t remember much about the actual interview, but it must have gone well because later that same day, I received a phone call offering me the position.

I was elated! I wasted no time finding a computer system and spending every spare minute building my dictionary. Although I considered myself a clean writer, I needed to be realtime ready. You see, Judge Brown is deaf. I needed to be able to write realtime for oral arguments in the courtroom and judicial conference calls in chambers utilizing the speaker phone.

So why this morning, after years of experience, did I almost allow fear to hinder the purpose of my captioning ministry? Fear can impede our growth if we are obsessed with what others may think of us. If our focus is on ourselves and our glory, we don’t see the glory of God working through us as His messenger to reach out to others.

Fear can also cause us to refuse to embrace change because we would rather be comfortable. If we become complacent in our work, it will lead to dissatisfaction, feeling unfulfilled, and eventual burnout. Eugene O’Neill said, “A man’s work is in danger of deteriorating when he thinks he has found the one best formula for doing it. If he thinks that, he is likely to feel that all he needs is merely to go on repeating himself . . . so long as a person is searching for better ways of doing his work, he is fairly safe.”

There are online tools, classes, and webinars that are fantastic resources. In the comfort of my home, away from distractions, I set aside time to take a course and practice. The most difficult part is just making yourself sit down and begin, but you’ll be amazed at how quickly you become engaged and how fun it is, especially when you see the improvement in your skills.

There is also a tremendous benefit in attending onsite workshops and conventions. You will come away with an immense amount of information, education, and training in a short period of time. It is rejuvenating to interact with peers giving and receiving support and sharing what works. Having several vendors at one location is a time saver, assisting you in making informed decisions on your wants and needs.

Contact your church or any local church, and ask if you can set up your equipment to practice for yourself. Search out sermons on TV or on the Web. My church has sermon videos to watch and downloads available in video and audio format on its home page at www.elmbrook. org.

Edmund Burke once said: “The only thing necessary for the triumph [of evil] is for good men to do nothing.” Have you ever watched babies learning to walk? They take a step and down they go. They get up and take another step or two and down they go. Never do they look discouraged. Never do they give up. They just get up and take another step forward, and before you know it, they’re running.

You don’t think there were days in court when I cringed at my untranslates or word boundary issues? Absolutely. But I got up, dusted off my ego, and kept working hard, always moving forward.

Don’t let fear rob you of your aspirations. Don’t let your fear deny others the opportunity to “hear” the word of God. Take that first baby step toward making it happen.

After the sermon this morning, Terry, Debby, and I had a chance to talk. They thanked me and gave me a hug, saying they truly appreciated the CART and would be back next week. I look forward to seeing them; and if they happen to come for the 8 a.m. service, that will be just fine.

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