The last page: All in a day’s work

WHY ME?

A 21-year-old deponent had this exchange. During her answer, she looked around the room at each of us. She said it as she ended up looking at me.

A. But there are different levels for each — Wayne State is really diverse. We have a lot of — no offense to nobody — but older people.

Q. Like how old is old?

MR. DOE: I’m glad she pointed at the court reporter and not me.

Elsa Jorgensen
Birmingham, Mich.

TMI

Q. Do you update your Facebook?

A. From time to time. I’m not consistent with it. I’m not one of the people who tells you I’m going to the bathroom every five minutes and everything.

MR. JONES: Thank God for that, sir.

MR. SMITH: I agree.

Therese Casterline, RMR, CRR
The Colony, Texas

WHEN YOU ASSUME …

Q. What other kind of surgeries?

A. I had a breast implant.

Q. Augmentation?

A. Augmentation.

Q. When was that?

A. That was seven years ago.

Q. Just one?

A. Both.

Q. That’s not what I meant, but —

A. Oh, just one time. Sorry.

Q. I assumed you got both. (Laughter).

Leo Mankiewicz, RMR, CRR
Phoenix, Ariz.

SILLY QUESTIONS

Q. Let me ask you a few things about your family life if I could. You’re married to your wife, correct?

A. Most people are.

Q. Obviously.

Barbara Prindle, RPR
Brunswick, Ga.

AGREED

Q. But you were married?

A. We were married

Q. Okay.

A. It’s a complicated thing.

Q. Yeah, it always is.

Yvonne Fenner, RPR
Sacramento, Calif.

MOBILE HOME MOVING

Q. And that would happen if somebody decided to pick up their home and go elsewhere?

A. And they can do that.

Q. That is within their rights.

A. Okay.

Q. They would have to be real strong, though, to pick it up and carry it, wouldn’t they?

A. Well, they would have to hire a contractor.  I mean, you’re talking physical? No, I never took it that way.

Q. I know that.

A. Okay. I’m sorry.

Q. I was just playing with you.

Renee L. Stacy, RPR, CRR
Salt Lake City, Utah

FIRST, TAKE ALL THE LAWYERS …

Q. Was it a lawyer or a person?

A. It was a person.

Susan L. Beard, RPR
Beaumont, Texas

VERIFY EVERYTHING

Q. You’re wearing a shirt with a logo on it, and that says, “SSYC Preschool.” What’s that?

A. It’s Second Street Youth Center. It’s a preschool, and it has an aftercare program.

Q. Where is Second Street located?

A. In Plainfield.

Q. Is it on Second Street?

A. Yes. South Second Street.

Denese Cortellino
North Arlington, N.J.

SPELLING BEE

Q. Did you attend college?

A. I went to The Salon Professional Academy for a short time and didn’t finish.

Q. The what professional academy?

A. The Salon Professional Academy.

Q. How do you spell that?

A. S-a-l-o-n, Professional, P-r-o-f-f-e-s-i-o-n-a- l-l-y, Academy, A-c-a-d-e-m-y.

Amy Doman, RPR, CRR
Carmel, Ind.

THAT’S THE TRUTH

Q. Did he tell you that he crosses — he tries to cross when there are no trains coming?

A. No, he didn’t mention that.

Q. It’s part of your job to follow up on statements, is it not?

A. Well, frankly, I would try to cross when there were no trains coming, too.

Q. Good idea.

THE COURT: The Court takes judicial notice of that.

Wendy Shultz
Minneapolis, Minn.

DOUBLE THE TROUBLE

Q. How old are your grandchildren?

A. Granddaughter, five. I have twin boys, two.

Q. Twin grandsons?

A. Yes.

Q. Age two?

A. Yes, both of them.

Michele L. Fontaine, RPR
Leicester, Mass.

LONG-WINDED

(After a three-page answer by a neuropsychologist):

Q: I’m sure there’s some periods in there. I’ll let the court reporter choose them.

Cassy Russell, RPR, CRR, CCP
Tulsa, Okla.

If you’d like to contribute, please send your funny transcript excerpts to NCRA Publications Manager Austin Yursik at ayursik@ncra.org.