Last page: Word up

MEDICAL SUBSPECIALTY

Q. Okay. Do you know what kind of doctor Dr. Ghosh is?
A. No. Probably a harsh doctor.
Q. You think he’s a heart doctor?
A. Harsh.
Q. Harsh doctor. Well, I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate that.
Alan Turboff, RPR
Houston, Texas

STAR GAZING
Q. You mentioned earlier you have two children?
A. Right. Albert is an actor. And if you watch television, you see him on every other commercial.
Q. Give me a commercial he’s been in I might have seen.
A. He’s doing Mercedes Benz right now. And he did a movie with John Travolta, “The Punisher.” He did a movie with Michael Douglas, “The In-Laws.” He’s appeared on every other show you could name on — what’s the guy? Tyler Perry. He says that he could make around a million dollars a year with commercials.
Q. Good for him. So he’s not a starving actor then?
A. No.
Alan Turboff, RPR
Houston, Texas

A COMFORTABLE CHAIR
Q. Did not taking the medication affect your testimony today?
A. No. This chair did, though.
Helga Lavan, RPR
Hicksville, N.Y.

“DO YOU SMOKE?”
Q. Detective, you know people who either do or used to smoke, I assume, correct?
A. Do I know people?
Q. Yeah.
A. In my profession or personally?
Q. Any way.
A. I know people in my profession that currently smoke and have smoked, yes.
Q. Okay. And people smoke — Some people smoke one or two cigarettes a day and some people smoke a whole pack, right?
A. I’m confused. I didn’t realize you were talking about cigarettes.
Q. You want to give us the names of those officers?
A. Names, they shall remain nameless. But, yes, I do know people that smoke cigarettes, for clarification.
Francine O’Claire, RPR
Milwaukee, Wisc.
TMI
Q. In terms of the degree of a crime, what’s the degree of a crime of a 25-ounce marijuana bust?
A. Well, 50 ounces would be indictable, if I’m not mistaken.
Q. 50 ounces?
A. 50 – I’m sorry.
MR. FOMRER CHIEF: 50 grams.
BY MR. ATTORNEY:
Q. The retired chief says it’s 50 grams. I was going to say, I’m more nervous than I need to be.
MS. ATTORNEY: Don’t say too much on the record.
Kim Montalvo, RPR
Mount Laurel, N.J.

BETTER LEFT UNSAID
Q. Do you remember any businesses that would have been around the Coca-Cola facility when your father was working there?
A. Not that I can repeat.
Q. Oh.
MR. BROWN: I think you might want to elaborate or –
MR. SMITH: Yeah, let me think of a delicate way.
Q. What types of businesses are we talking about here?
A. Pleasure.
Q. Okay.
A. Which got funny when the police department moved in there.It still was there. There was one right across the alley. You know, just one. I’m not going to say all those buildings were that way, but there was one.
MR. BROWN: I’m going to advise you not to answer if you’ve ever been inside that building.
Sandy Hancock, RPR
O’Fallon, Mo.

SILLY QUESTION
Q. So when you awaken in the morning and you take your first or second or third breath
MR. ANDERSON: You mean he wasn’t breathing all night? I want to make sure we have clarification of this question.
Johanna M. Ledesma, RPR
Camarillo, Calif.

KNOW YOUR TERMS
Q. Did they indicate that he was a crew leader and gang pusher?
A. Yes.
Q. Now, what’s a gang pusher?
A. It’s an oil field term for crew leader.
Q. So it’s not a gangster on the street that sells drugs?
A. No, sir, not in Oklahoma.
Tammy Christine Raydon
Oklahoma City, Okla.

PRETTY CARLESS
The Prosecutor:
Q. Mr. Smith, can you tell us what your driving conduct that day, would you acknowledge, was in a careless manner?
A. Yes.
Q. That was because of the alcohol that you had consumed?
A. Well, no.
Defense Attorney: Can you explain to him why it was careless?
A. Why I was careless? I had ran a stop sign because I just wanted to get home to Cohasset. I didn’t have any pants on; I was freezing, soaking wet, and I just wanted to get to my house in Cohasset so I ran the stop sign and that’s pretty careless of me.
Vicky Fall, RPR
Grand Rapids, Minn.

NO LIE
(Jury selection, and a conversation between judge and prospective juror.)
THE COURT: But as judges of the facts, you get to decide what to believe. You can believe everything that someone says, parts of what they say, or nothing. It’s an amazing amount of power. But you use your common sense.
How many of you have children? (Raising hands.)
How many here have children that have never lied? (Only one hand raised.)
One. Mr. Tovar, what is your secret?
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: He’s six months old.
(Laughter)
THE COURT: There you go. There’s your secret. He can’t speak, okay. When he starts to speak, good luck.
Liche M. Cavazos, RPR
San Antonio, Texas

EVEN THEN
A. As I indicated initially, where I found the hollowed-out cardboard cylinders, there was red sticks that appeared to be the sticks from bottle rockets.
Q. Okay. All right. But those were just small, little bottle rockets, though; right?
A. Yes.
Q. Nothing illegal about that.
A. Well, they’re illegal in the state of Kansas.
Q. Bottle rockets are illegal in the state of Kansas?
A. Yes, they are.
Q. This is right after the 4th of July, roughly.
A. They’re illegal even on the 4th of July.
Jo Van Tuyl, RPR
Leavenworth, Kan.
BEST TWO OUT OF THREE
MR. SMITH: Any children?
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: Yes.
MR. SMITH: How many?
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: Three.
MR. SMITH: Age range?
PROSPECTIVE JUROR: 30, 31, and 32.
MR. SMITH: Boys or girls or one of each?
David Holt, RMR, CRR
Wichita, Kan.

COVERING ALL THE BASES
Q. To jump back real quick, would you describe Joe Smith as your best friend?
MR. JONES: I didn’t mean to cause any stress here between…
MR. SMITH: I have a thick skin.
A. No.
MR. JONES: Objection, vague as to “best friend.”
Q. You said no, sorry?
A. Yes.
MR. SMITH: I’ll be your wife.
Q. Best nonmarried friend or best nonmarried-to-you friend?
A. Oh, that was a question?
Q. Sure.
A. No.
Q. Best nonmarried-to-you friend that is not also your child or immediate family member?
A. No.
Q. I have to cover all the bases.
A. Understood.
Laurie Collins, RPR
Brooklyn, N.Y.