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The last page: What he said

TIME FLIES
Q. When was the date of that last visit with Dr. Beale?
A. It would have been from January 2014, that time.
Q. So in the last couple of days you’ve seen him?
MR. GREEN: No. This is ’15.
THE WITNESS: January. This is 2015.
MS. JONES: Oh, I’m sorry.
MR. GREEN: A whole year has gone by.
MS. JONES: I am so sorry.
MR. GREEN: I missed it too.
Elsa Jorgensen
Birmingham, Mich.

LISTEN CAREFULLY
Q. And, so, did you have an opportunity to go over the fence or go to the yard on the other side of the fence that was located directly to the back of 307 Main Avenue?
A. Just to the west, yes. There was an amount of debris, broken-down wood, things that are thrown behind the garage, and I was able to, along with other members of the unit, go behind there and look for any discarded evidence.
MR. SMITH: When you say “left,” we are talking about left on this photograph?
MS. JONES: I haven’t shown him the photograph.
MR. SMITH: I don’t know what left is. Object.
THE COURT: What direction are we talking about?
MS. JONES: Judge, I hadn’t shown him the photograph.
THE WITNESS: I don’t remember. I said “left?” I said, “west,” sir.
MR. SMITH: West?
THE WITNESS: Just west of the fence line.
THE COURT: That’s what I heard, too, Tom.
MR. SMITH: Okay.
THE COURT: You’re still deaf.
MR. SMITH: I guess I am. My wife tells me that.
Adam H. Alweis, RPR
Syracuse, N.Y.

TMI
Q. What did you do to get ready for testifying today, as far as looking at documents or talking to people or whatever?
A. Tried to push my hair down. For some reason, it’s staying up real bad for the past two days. Showered. Sat in a cold room, waiting for my grandparents to finish up in here.
Denyce Sanders, RPR, CRR
Houston, Texas

READY OR NOT
Q. When did you become engaged to Miss Smith?
A. We’ve been together for about 32 years and we’ve been engaged about 30 years. We haven’t plunged yet, you know.
Q. All right. So you’ve been together with Miss Smith for 32 years?
A. Uh-huh.
Q. That’s a yes?
A. Yes, that’s a yes.
Q. Okay. All right. Do you have any plans on getting married?
A. Yes. We — we planning on to. I popped the question to her seven times. She’s not ready yet.
Michele L. Fontaine, RPR
Leicester, Mass.

ASK THE OBVIOUS
Q. Now, when these declarations were filed in the 1970s, these witnesses who signed these affidavits were presumably alive; is that correct?
A. I’m assuming if they signed it, that they were alive. Yes, sir.
Q. Right. That’s probably about the worst question I’ve asked. So thank you for your kind answer. I’ve had witnesses who –
THE COURT: May I inject, he’s one who knew what the answer is.
Beth Hurst-Waitz, RMR
Albuquerque, N.M.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?
BY THE COURT:
Q. Ms. Stallworth, what is your full name?
A. Christine.
Q. Just Christine Stallworth?
A. Christine Stallworth.
Q. No middle name?
A. H. Yeah, H in the middle of there.
Q. H?
A. Uh huh.
Q. What does the H stand for?
A. Christine H. Stallworth.
Kathy L. Parker
Pascagoula, Miss.

LESS THAN ZERO
Q. Fair to say that by this point, you are not Mr. So-and-so’s biggest fan?
A. That’s correct. Wait a minute. No. That assumes that he has got a fan besides myself, that he has got one fan at least, and when I asked him those questions in discovery, he didn’t seem to have any fans.
Deborah Elderhorst
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

ALL CROSSED UP
Q. The cross that you’re crossing across, is it only crossing across oncoming traffic?
Linda Webster, RPR
Fort Worth, Texas

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE
(Three out of the four attorneys in the room were balding.)
Q. How about the driver of the black SUV; could you describe that driver?
A. He looked to me like a middle-aged guy, I would say Ethiopian maybe or Moroccan. He was balding. Like, his hairline was pretty much back to the back of his head.
Q. Poor guy. I know where he’s going.
A. Huh?
Q. I know where I’m headed.
MR. SMITH: Been there, done that not too long ago.
THE WITNESS: Great. Now I’ve alienated half the room.
MR. JONES: That’s right.
Donna L. Linton, RMR
Ashburn, Va.

GOT YOUR NUMBER
Q. So if I was to get records from him, it’s just Dr. Black? It’s not like Primary Healthcare or —
A. He gave birth to me. So I don’t know. So what do you call it? Family health, family physician. He’s my birth doctor. Father-and-son practice.
Diana D. Sabo
Tinley Park, Ill.

AFTER-DINNER MINTS
BY MR. JONES:
Q. Mr. Smith, would you identify Exhibit No. 3, please.
A. Okay.
Q. I’m going to move closer. I’m going to apologize about my breath right now.
A. As long as you don’t kiss me.
Q. It’s tempting, but I can probably restrain myself.
A. Good. Next time, skip the onions.
Amy Doman, RPR, CRR
Carmel, Ind.